Undying Failures
by Ravensbleeding
Summary: "But you failed," he says softly. "You failed, Naruto. You failed him and you failed Sakura and you failed yourself." Naruto would give anything to go back in time and stop Sasuke from leaving.


Well, I'm going to be honest with everyone and admit that this has actually been finished for a month or so. I've just been reluctant to post this up here, though if you ask me why I can't give you a straight answer. Anywhoo, you should just get to reading.

I don't own Naruto. Yeah...

I want to apologize in advance for the fact that my lines are actually the word 'line'. It's just that none of my lines wanted to stay unless there was a letter there, so I just put in 'line'. Hopefully that doesn't take away from the story.

* * *

><p>He comes back without a word but I can see it in his eyes and the new way he carries himself that he's proud of himself. He offers no explanation of his sudden appearance but he doesn't need to. I know why he's back – we all do.<p>

I can't tell you how much it hurts to see his face.

I'm lying in bed when I hear hurried footsteps and the pounding of fists on my door. I open it slowly, just in time to see three shinobi run by chattering excitedly. I step out and nearly get run into by someone else on the way. He shoots me a glare and follows after the other three.

I don't waste time putting on proper clothes. I just grab my orange jacket and throw it over my white shirt, then head out in that and my black shorts. It's cold outside – it's winter, what do I expect? – and the wind stings my face as I jump from roof to roof. A lump is forming in my throat and my gut is telling me that something is wrong.

The trip there is quiet but the crowd by the village gates is chattering loudly. The gates are thrown open; a welcome. I'm about to get to higher ground to see what they all see but a flash of pink catches my eyes and I jump down from the roof to push my way to Sakura, who doesn't seem to notice my presence.

I reach out but she whips around before I touch her. Shock flits across her features before a scowl sets in. "You're severely underdressed."

I think that she's worried about my health so I give her a sheepish smile. But her emerald eyes narrow and her lips turn down even more. I realize that she's not worried about my health at all and that something important is happening.

"What's going-"

But the whole town stops talking all at once and silence engulfs everything. And then I hear the soft pat-pat-pat of sandals on the ground. My breath freezes in my throat and my heart's pounding sounds like agony to my ears. My mind goes into overdrive then shuts down, and my instincts scream for me to get the hell out of here. Fight or flight and this is one battle I don't want to be in. But I can't force my feet to take me in the other direction.

Instead, against my gut, against all reasoning, I find myself moving forward, shoving people roughly aside. With every person I push out of my way I feel rage and chakra build up. I can feel my teeth and nails sharpen and elongate. I feel the almost comforting warmth of my chakra. I know my eyes are red.

I'm now almost throwing people out of my way. The chakra is burning them; they wince and cry out as my skin touches theirs. I'm trying hard to get to him when the sound of his footsteps dies. I find my breath catching and I'm so close and I just have a few more feet and –

"Move."

The crowd parts like the Red Sea and I'm staring at the one and only Sasuke Uchiha. Seeing his face is like being punched in the stomach. All the air rushes out and you're trying to grasp for breath and your eyes water because it kinda fucking hurts. Right in the instance that my breath gets knocked out of my lungs – and it does, believe me, it does – my rage vanishes. In the blink of an eye I'm regular me again.

And all I did was _look_ at him.

He walks towards me – _pat-pat-pat-pat _go his sandals– and even though my brain is screaming for me to run – "You've already lost!" – I just stand there. I'm in black shorts and an orange jacket and **the** Sasuke Uchiha is coming towards me. He reaches me and places his hand on my shoulder. I try not to flinch. But I must end up giving something away because the corners of his mouth upturn. He passes me by.

"Naruto."

And my world falls apart.

_~line~_

"How long do you think we have?"

"Not very long now."

"Months? Weeks?"

"Try days, Naruto."

"Days…"

A soft kiss is pressed to his forehead. "Enjoy it while you can."

"My life or our time together?"

"Both."

Hands cup his face and soft lips touch his.

"Good-bye, Naruto."

_~line~_

Society goes back to normal. It's like in school when something makes a big fuss. After it's over everyone just goes back to their lives like nothing ever happened. The only people whose lives change are the kids involved and the higher-ups who have to deal with the mess.

Sakura hasn't looked at me since Sasuke came back. Though in all honesty I haven't been trying very hard to get her attention, or even find her. I haven't been trying very hard to find anyone for that matter. Not her, not Kiba, not Kakashi, not Tsunade, and especially not _him_. I've spent the last two weeks in my apartment or out on the training field. The only person that I've actually held a conversation with, albeit a short one, was Iruka, and he came to me.

I crack the door open and peer out at the brunette man. "What is it?

He shifts from one foot to the other. "Let me in. I don't want to talk out here."

"What do you **want**, Iruka?"

He tries to push the door open but I keep it where it is. "Let me in, Naruto."

"If you think I'm hurting myself, I'm not. If you think I'm starving myself, I'm not. If you think I'm depressed, I am a little. But I have a right to be, don't I?"

He stares at me, brow furrowed. "I just…" He runs a hand through his hair. "I just want to make sure that you're okay. I'm just worried-"

"I'm fine. Good-bye, Iruka." I proceed to close the door but he place his hands on the wood and pushes back.

"I'll take you to ramen!" His voice cracks; he's desperate.

"I'm not hungry." The door clicks as I win the push battle. "Good-bye, Iruka." Flipping the lock, I turn and shuffle back to bed.

_-another line-_

"You know, things seem to be on their way to being normal." I cast a glance at Kiba out of the corner of my eye as I shove noodles into my mouth. The Inuzuka leans back in his chair, hands behind his head. "You know, now that Sasuke is back." He suddenly leans forward, eyes gleaming. "If he started coming here again, it would be like the old days!"

"No." All heads turn to me. Kiba, for a second, looks flabbergasted. This is the first time I've been out in weeks and he has the nerve to bring this up? "You think that bringing him here will make it all better? That it's going to be the way things used to?" I stand up, jamming my hands in my jacket pockets.

Sakura looks at me for the first time that night, for the first time in weeks. The dark bags under her red-rimmed eyes give away her pain. The way she clutches her drink – alcoholic, I heard her order it – suggests that she's still not over his return. "Shut up, Naruto," she half-sobs, half-croaks out. "Just shut up."

"Why?" I snap at her. "So you can live in fantasies?" I glare at Kiba. "You think that all of the pain will go away? You think that all of our failures will suddenly disappear, that you'll be able to sleep easier because he's back and things are 'normal'? You're so naïve." The last part comes out more venomous that I wanted it to, but I'm not going to apologize. "Things aren't going to go back to normal just because he's back."

I turn to leave but Shikamaru grabs my arm. "Naruto, we're just trying to-"

"No." I jerk my arm out of his grasp. "You all seem to have forgotten that he left us."

'You have to remember that you failed to bring him back.'

'You have to remember why he left in the first place.'

_~line~_

"Naruto." A hand touches his arm. "Why are you leaving?"

"I need to be stronger."

"Why?"

"So I can stop him."

"You can't stop him. You know that."

"I have to try!"

He's pulled, sobbing, into a warm hug.

_~line~_

"Why did he come back?" Sakura is sitting on my couch, mug in hand, staring at the wall across the room. I pause in making my own tea and glance at her. Then I ignore her question and set the pot of water on the stove.

"Is it because he has nothing left to do?"

I just let her keep talking. It does me no good to get involved, but if she feels better by voicing questions, I'll let her do so.

She looks at me with her red, tired eyes. His return hasn't been kind to her at all but there's nothing I can do to help her. I know that while his return hurts, it's the fact that he came back willingly that's killing her. "Did he come back to hurt me, to reopen my wounds?"

She's asking me this time. She wants a real answer but I can't give it to her. Instead I turn to my boiling water and pour some of it in a mug then stick in a tea bag. It's an extremely inconvenient way to make tea but I'm past the point of caring.

"He knows this hurts me. Why is he so cruel?"

My heart constricts in my chest. I grip the mug tightly and will her to be quiet. As much as I want her to feel better, this isn't helping me.

"Why would he hurt me like this?"

The mug in my hand shatters, glass and tea spilling everywhere. My vision is bleeding red. My hands are trembling. Red charka slides down my skin and envelopes my hands.

Sakura doesn't even notice. "After all our failures…" The mug sits cool in her hands. Her green eyes stare out into nothing.

"Our failures?" I snarl. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm the one that tried to do something! I was the one that tried to stop him! They're not your failures! They're not even 'our' failures! They're all mine! Mine, Sakura!"

I fall to my knees and bury my face in my hands. Tears slip through my fingers and hit the floor. "They're all mine…"

I glance up, expecting to see her staring at me. Instead, she's gone. There's no trace of her or her mug and I realize, shakily, that she was never there in the first place.

_~line~_

"Are you alright, Naruto?" A hand caresses his cheek as worried eyes stare down at him. A thumb runs under his eye, wiping away invisible tears.

He places a hand over the one on his face. "You know I'm alright. I'm always alright." He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"You're a terrible liar, Naruto." A kiss is planted on his forehead, and then he's alone again.

_~line~_

My fist embeds itself into his cheek and he falls. I stand over him, chest heaving, fingers curled, eyes brimming with tears. "Was it everything you ever wanted?" My voice is low. I can't look at him.

He gets to his feet slowly, rubbing the red spot where I hit him. "What the hell are you talking about?" His red eyes flash as his fingers curl around the handle of his blade.

"Was it everything you ever dreamed of?" My hands curl and uncurl. My vision is blurry. I vaguely notice his arm moving. My instincts kick in before my mind does and I block his sword with a kunai just in time. With my free hand I pull another kunai from my pouch and drive it into his sword hand. His face contorts in pain and his sword clatters to the ground as he releases it. He debates grabbing it with his left hand – the flicker of his eyes gives him away – but I twist the kunai in his hand.

I'm unusually cruel when it comes to Sasuke.

I yank the weapon out and toss it aside, then knock his legs out from underneath him. He falls for the second time and his head hits the ground with a dull thud. In the instant he's down I'm on him, pinning him beneath me. Our faces are inches apart and his breath is warm on my face and his heart is beating faster than normal.

"Tell me," I murmur, staring into his red eyes, "was it worth it?"

He lets out a slow breath, trying to repress his anger and frustration. "Was **what** worth it?"

"Itachi's death."

His whole body tenses beneath mine. His eyes narrow. He tries once to get away. "Why the hell do you care about his death?"

"Was it worth it?" I repeat, trying to suppress my own rage. "Was it worth it?"

"Yes," he hisses. "It was worth leaving this place. It was worth going to Orochimaru. It was worth leaving **you** behind."

I think that his words were supposed to hurt me. I think I should have felt my heart jerk and ache and break into a million tiny pieces. I think my breath should have caught in my throat. I think I should have been crying, blubbering, trying to get him to tell me that he didn't mean it. It was all supposed to hurt.

But it didn't. Maybe once upon a time, back when he was still my friend, when he was all I had. Maybe then it would have hurt, I would have been hurt. But that had been so long ago. All I felt now was a burning hatred.

"It was never about you," I snarl, getting off of him and turning to walk away. "Never. Get over yourself."

"Yeah?" His tone is cocky, arrogant, as he stands. "Then what about that expression on your face when I got back? What about the way you've been acting? The way you've been **avoiding** me? You can deny it all you want, Naruto, but-"

I don't even turn around to look at him. "But it was never about you."

_Never…_

_~line~_

"Naruto." A figure materializes in front of him and he stumbles back.

"Y…you…" His blue eyes are wide and he tries to scoot back as the man approaches but he's not fast enough. A hand latches onto the front of his jacket and yanks him up.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the man says softly. "Please, Naruto."

His breath is coming out quickly and his heart is pounding and he's trying to find the right words to say because he doesn't want to die today. "What…what do you want?"

"I just want you to listen to me."

Those eyes look sad, pained, desperate.

"Please, Naruto."

_~line~_

Sasuke sits beside me in the restaurant. He is uninvited, I don't want him near me, but I'm not going to push him away. Instead I pretend he doesn't exist, which is easy because he doesn't say a word. The waitress comes by to offer him something but he waves her away. And then he leans back in the seat, arms folded across his chest, and stares at me.

And stares.

And stares.

And then finally, "Who is it about then?"

I look up at him mid-bite.

"If it was never about me, then who is it about?" He leans forward and sets his elbows on the table.

I swallow my food and stare at him. Black eyes peer back, challenging me. I break our staring contest to smile at the waitress and pay. When I get up he gets up and follows me out.

"Naruto…" But I ignore him and keep walking. "Naruto." He grabs my arm. "Naruto."

"Let go of me, Sasuke," I say quietly.

Instead he comes up behind me and leans forward. His lips brush against my ear and I shudder. "Naruto, you never answered my question."

I swallow thickly. "Sasuke, let go."

"Tell me, Naruto." Arms wrap around my waist. My entire body stiffens. My heart pounds in my chest. My breath freezes in my lungs. "Tell me, Naruto," he purrs in my ear, "just what was my brother to you?"

I jerk out of his grasp and face him, glaring. "What the **fuck** are you getting at?" I snarl.

"It's about him, isn't it?" He takes a step towards me. "It's always been about him." He pauses for a moment. "The whole reason you tried to get me back, keep me here, was so I wouldn't accomplish my goal."

I can't bring myself to look at him anymore. Instead I stare at the ground and pray that this is just some terrible nightmare.

"But you failed," he says softly. "You failed, Naruto. You failed him and you failed Sakura and you failed yourself." He touches my face and I jerk back like he's burned me. "How much does your failure hurt?"

_~line~_

A hand caresses his face absentmindedly as he sits in Itachi's lap. The older man is staring off into the distance, distracted. "Itachi?" The Uchiha comes to at the sound of his name, looking down into bright blue eyes.

"I apologize, Naruto. You risk your life coming out here to see me and I'm not indulging you." The hand caressing his cheek stops and before he can protest or say anything at all soft lips are pressed to his. He isn't sure what to do so he sits there, eyes closed, until Itachi pulls away. "That was uncalled for. I apologize again Naruto."

"I-" He doesn't know what to say. The only other person that's kissed him is Sasuke, and that was an accident. In an instant, and with hope that the first kiss wasn't just a fluke, he presses his lips against Itachi's.

_~line~_

I stand among the rubble of the Uchiha hideout, staring at the smears of blood on the ground. My heart clenches as I blink back the tears. I'm vaguely aware of Sasuke's presence behind me but Sasuke doesn't matter. Nothing matters here.

_"It was a heart problem…"_

_"He was dying anyway…"_

_"I didn't kill him…"_

I fall to my knees, tears sliding down my face. I don't even feel the pain of my knees hitting concrete. I can't feel anything except the ache in my chest. My whisker marks become more pronounced as red chakra envelopes me, trying, if anything, to stop my pain.

_"You have to remember why he left in the first place…"_

_"You can't stop him…"_

_"You failed him and you failed Sakura and you failed yourself…"_

_"They're all mine! Mine, Sakura!" _

_~line~_

"Welcome back." Itachi takes in his new appearance, nodding in approval before approaching him. "You've gotten taller." He doesn't respond. "Training went well?"

"If I hadn't come back, would it matter?" The question is blunt and unexpected and the almost hostile look in those blue eyes makes the Uchiha wonder what exactly he missed.

"Naruto, why would you ask me that?""

"Because I need to know if this is worth it."

"Only you can decide that."

Blue eyes narrow, red flashing through them, in a way that tells Itachi that his answer wasn't good enough. Naruto tries a different question. "Do you love me?"

Red eyes and blue eyes clash. A Konoha leaf headband and scratched metal. A jinchuuriki and an Akatsuki member.

"If you expect me to get down on my knees and proclaim my love, it's not happening Naruto. But I'm standing here, aren't I?"

The blonde throws himself into open arms.

_~line~_

I scream. Tears flow down my cheeks. My chakra flails wildly, trying to mend a wound that can't be healed. An anguished sound - my anguished sound – reverberates around me and I have to cover my ears because _it still hurts_. I scream until I can't scream anymore, until my throat hurts and I can't even gasp for air. I scream until all I've got left is my tears soaking the ground and eventually I don't even have those to give anymore.

Sasuke stands behind me and doesn't say a word.

_~line~_

"How long do you think we have?" Blue eyes look up into red ones.

"Not very long now," Itachi says, looking out into the distance.

"Months? Weeks?" The blonde sounds hopeful, looks hopeful.

"Try days, Naruto." He says it with a sigh, but it pains him to utter those words, hurts to see the crushed look in the boy's eyes.

"Days…" Naruto looks down at his hands.

Itachi turns the boy's head and presses a kiss to his forehead. "Enjoy it while you can."

"My life or our time together?" There's a tinge of bitterness in the blonde's voice.

"Both." There's a hint of a smile on the Uchiha's face. He leans down and kisses the blonde, his blonde, one last time.

"Good-bye, Naruto."

_~line~_

_"I love you…"_

* * *

><p>Again, I apologize for my lines, as well as any mistakes I made.<p>

But, leave a review telling me what you think. It'll brighten up my day.

So have a nice day, night, afternoon, evening, week, month, year, whatever it is you want to be nice.


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